Me And The I.R.S.

My latest battle is with that corrupt & useless government agency know as the Internal Revenue Service. My taxes are a mess, since 2001, Since the 9-11 attacks I had been on the go with my Army National Guard, deploying & moving many times my paperwork became a mess. While at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, I contacted the I.R.S. to get help sorting my taxes out. I got the rudest, most disrespectful bitch on the phone, telling me that being deployed to a combat zone & recovering in a Army Hospital is no excuse for being behind with my IRS paperwork & taxes. I have tried to get help w/ my taxes through the Veterans Administration, but they don't provide help with that. I know I can't call the I.R.S. because I saw the kind of to expect from them. I guess I will try & get help from my Congressman's or Senator's Veteran Liason, but it takes a long time to get through on the phone.

I suppose, I could draw all my money out of my banks(not that there is much left), take a leave of absense & go the homeless route for a while this way all they can go after is my Veterans disability checks. Just what I needed more stress piled on top of the mountain of stress that I am already under. Like Johnny Paycheck says "To Hell With The I.R.S. !!!

Help For PTSD Sufferers!

I have found some blogs & info concerning PTSD and healing, that I would like to share. I have not had time to read & digest all the information, but I decided to put it out there in the hopes, that it may help some of my fellow PTSD sufferers. This is my second attempt, I had a post almost completed, I accidently hit a button & wiped it out, really pissed me off, what is the use of having a save now button, when u can't go back to portion u saved? Sorry, got off track there, just had to vent!

The first blog is from Dr Cindee Grace, Naturopath. http:askios-survivors.blogspot.com She has a free ebook dealing with PTSD & DID (Dissociative Identity Disorders) titled "Holistic Self-Care For Post Traumatic Stress & Dissociative Identity" You can download it free from following sites:

http:amyweintraub.com/HolisticSelfCareForPTS.pdf

www.amyweintraub.com/resources.html

http://www.freedom-center.org/files/HolisticSelfCareforPTSD+DissociativeIdentity-CindeeGrace.pdf

http://veteransinfo.org/ptsd.html - This is site I downloaded from.

Dr Cindee Grace, has given permission to download for free & distribute, so long as you download in entirety & do not attempt to make money off her work, you can download for free.

Another blog site I found was http://healmyptsd.com/ptsd-blog The blogger Michelle Rosenthal is a PTSD survivor, who says she is now healed and able to live a normal life. Michelle is on twitter @HealMyPTSD She has a PTSD workshop outlined in her blog, and a lot of good helpful posts. I have not had time to read them all yet, but I thought that I would share these to in the hope that it may help some of my brothers & sisters in arms out there suffering from PTSD.

I urge any of my readers or if you know of others suffering from PTSD to take advantage of this free information, & see if it will help you. Main thing is read with an open mind, a closed mind does not absorb, & may pass on something that may help. When I have had a chance to fully read & absorb, I will let you know how it has helped or not helped me. But, remember, everyone is different, what works for one person may not work for another & vice versa. I wish you all good luck in battling your PTSD, but remember there is help out there, u just have to find it. Never give up!

The New Fight - Will I Join The Homeless?

I have been fighting to keep my job with Coca-Cola Enterprises, unfortunately it looks like I am about to lose this fight. Unum (Life Insurance Company Of America, Leave Management Services) which handles Coca-Cola Enterprises Family & Medical Leaves, has decided to harass me with constant requests for more paperwork, rather than contact my doctor for confirmation, and are refusing my Family Medical Leave, due to my PTSD & Combat Stress, which has added more stress to my already bad psychological condition. Causing more chest pains, panic attacks & nightmares to what I already suffer from. I have been unable to make it to VA Hospital to get refills, & the VA will not renew by phone, I have been out of my Psych meds for a couple of months which makes things even worse, & harder to leave my apartment. I have been using some old pills from 2005, which are expired but they don't seem to help much. My pain meds are almost ou & my heart meds are running low. I can't wake up during daylight hours to get in to VA Hospital, or to contact my Senator or Congressman for help.


If I lose my job with Coca-Cola Enterprises, I figure I have to about October or November before I move out onto the street. I will not burden any of my friends or family, I have plenty of training, & can survive in the wild. Main worry is what do I do, with all my stuff. I will have to find a way to disconnect the GPS system on my Jeep so it can't be tracked, don't need a repoman tracking me down. I have sleeping bags, a cot, & shelter halves, I can make myself a nice little
hooch & live off the land. These are just contingency thoughts, for if I do lose my job. I am still fighting so the battle is not yet lost.



Tomorrow, I will attempt to get up early & contact Senator Gillibrand's Office & try and get her assistance in dealing with Unum. Also I need to try & contact the Veterans Representative in Hauppauge, & try to get some assistance. This is really frustrating, before I went to War I was super reliable, worked long hours, little sleep, now all I do is sleep & miss work. The largest growing group of homeless are OIF/OEF Veterans. I guess we can thank the U.S. Army for not
taking care of there own!

The Constant Battle!

I seem to be locked in a constant battle for my sanity. Between fighting the constant pain I am in, the nightmares & crazy dreams where I awaken, not knowing where or when I am. I rarely leave my apartment these days, I can't wake up in the daytime to go to work, I am awake during the night, trying to find a way to numb the pain so I can sleep, but when I get to sleep it is broken with nightmares & strange dreams, sometimes I am with fallen comrades, or with my old brothers in Iraq. Some nights I wake up screaming or swinging, I have attacked my stand up light a few times, I still reach for my m-4 or 12-gauge & still feel the panic when they are not there. I have not been able to make my appointments with the VA Hospital, because I can not wake up. I hobble around like an old man on the real bad days. I hate to go out, because I feel peoples eyes on me as I hobble around. I am unable to work, because I can't get up, & don't know if I can work through the pain.

I have exhausted my savings, the few dollars I get from the VA, does not help much. I have tried to make up for some with twitads, revtwt & Google adsense, but don't get enough clicks to really make a difference. Chatting with my friends on twitter & blip-fm helps me to keep my sanity. I also have some Veteran friends on here, that helps me realize that I am not the only one going thru this. I get to read their blogs, & see that this is a common problem, suffered by many War Veterans, I have some friends in English, & Australian Military that suffer from these PTSD problems. Also I see that their military do not give a damn about their veterans, just like the United States Army does not. It is pathethic how we, who amswered the call to duty, get treated like beggars by the corrupt and inept Army Medical Evaluation Boards (MEB) & Army Physical Evaluation Board (PEB). It is hard for me to accept, that at 47, I am broken down, and will have to spend the rest of my life, in pain, and fighting this constant battle.

Dealing With Pain!

One of my constant worries or problems I deal with, is the constant pain that I am in. No matter what I take my back is always in pain, it just lessens the degree of pain, but never eliminates the pain. On my bad days I hobble around like an old man, on my good days I can walk about with some degree of pain. While training up for Iraq, at Ft Hood TX & Ft Irwin CA, I wrecked my back running around with all the gear on, Body armor with plates, ammo, grenades, camelback filled w/ water, kevlar helmet & other gear putting a tremendous strain on my back. When I got to Iraq, my back got worse, but I had to keep going. Kept aggravating the injuries. I'd have to hit the deck when shots were fired, jump back up, with the body armor plates digging into my back. When the Iraqi guard towers were taken fire I'd have to race up the steel ladderways to get to the towers. I was 42 running around with 20 year olds. As an Infantry Fire Team Leader, It was my responsibility to be first man up into the towers & put my head over the wall. Adrenaline kept me going, there was no taking it easy. Sleeping on a hard army cot, did not help it any either.

When I got medevac'd out of Iraq 29 Jan 05, from a heart attack, it was a hard thing to leave my team behind. I tried to get the doctor to send me back, but they medevac'd me to Landstuhl Germany. My back started to heal somewhat while at Landstuhl, they gave me percocet & flexiril to help deal with the pain & heat packs to help my back. When I got to Walter Reed, I played down the back injury because I was trying to get my cardiac doctor to sign off on me returning to my unit in Iraq. He stalled me off until it was too late for me to go back, then I started to actively try and get treatment for my back. I went thru pool therapy, physical therapy, accupuncture, chiropracter, tens unit, they would help some, but my back kept getting worse. I was told that I was not a good candidate for back surgery. The final conclusion was that I would just have to live with the pain for the rest of my life.

I went through the corrupt and inept Army Medical Evaluation Board (MEB)/ Physical Evaluation Board (PEB). I was evaluated by Dr Harvey Cohen, who is openly biased against National Guard & Reserve soldiers, he told me that "You are just another National Guard soldier trying to live off the government" Now if he had been biased against me for race, gender, or religion there would have been a problem but it was ok for him to be biased against me for being a National Guard soldier. The board final determination was unfit for duty 10% which means I was medically retired with 0 compensation. Going through the MEB/PEB is one of the most humiliating and degrading experiences I have ever been to. They treated me more like a common beggar looking for a handout. I wanted to be fixed, they could not heal me so I wrongfully expected the Army to do the right thing & fairly compensate me for my disabilities.

I tried to get politicians to do something about the Army MEB/PEB, but no help, they smile shake your habd take a picture with you, then you never hear from them again. I Brought it to the attention of President Bush, Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY), Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) Senator Domenci (R-NM), Senator Snow (R-ME), numerous Congressmen & Senators during the Building 18 scandal, but to no avail. The Army was allowed to continue its humiliating and disgraceful treatment of combat veterans. There were many other veterans screwed over by the corrupt system. I will go into further detail in future posts. Dr Harvey Cohen is still doing his biased evaluations & screwing hundreds or thousand of Wounded Warriors, in the MEB/PEB. It goes on because he saves the Army millions of dollars at the Wounded Warriors expense.

So now I am going through the VA health care, where they seem to be trying to save money by not prescribing pain medications, and I must battle their evaluation system, right now it stands at 40% but I am sure it will increase in time. I have been out of work due to my various injuries & PTSD related problems. I just would like to get back to my normal self, if that is possible. I used to be outgoing, fun, life of the party, hard charger, now I am withdrawn, I stay at home, avoid friends & family.

Depression - as linked to Post Combat or PTSD

Many combat veterans have to deal with various forms of depression, when they return from a combat zone, especially those that get medevac'd out earlier from being wounded or injured, and leaving their comrades behind. Again I will start by using the Wikipedia definitions for various depression states, I did not find any relating to Post-Combat or PTSD, maybe in the future their will be when the Military Psychiatric Doctors & Medical Evaluation Boards start doing the right thing by our Combat Veterans. Also this Post-Combat or PTSD Depression is one of the major causes of so many suicides in our return War Veterans.


These are the various types of psychological depression, as defined in Wikipedia:


Major Depressive Disorder: (also known as clinical depression or major depression), a specific diagnosis from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association.

1) Major Depressive Episode

2) Atypical Depression, a cyclical sub-type of major depression where sleep, feeding and perception of pleasure are normal but there is a feeling of lethargy.

3) Melancholic Depression, a sub-type of major depression characterized by an inability to feel pleasure combined with physical agitation, insomnia, or decreased appetite.

4) Psychotic Depression, a sub-type of major depression combined with psychotic or delusional perceptions.

Depression (mood).

Postpartum depression, a depressive episode occurring within a year of childbirth.

Dysthymia, a long-term low-grade depressive condition.

Adjustment disorder with depressed mood, previously known as "reactive depression"

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a depressed mood related to the seasons.

Depression is the fourth stage of the Kubler-Ross Model (commonly known as the "stages of grief").


That was the Wikipedia definition & breakdown of varios forms of depression, like I said above, I believe eventually there will be another diagnosis, dealing with Post-Combat or PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/TBI Traumatic Brain Injury. I myself have dealt with and still is fighting depression, and it has been over 4 years since I have been back from Iraq. When I was first medevac'd out of Iraq to Landstuhl Army Medical Center in Germany, I fought and argued with the doctors to go back to rejoin my unit, I had a deep feeling of guilt and felt ashamed because I was safe in Germany and they were still in harms way. I have talked to many other wounded and injured veterans at Landstuhl and at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, where I was sent after Germany, they all had felt the same way guilty and ashamed to leave their comrades behind. It is some that the Army Medical Centers do not deal with properly, which is why their are so many suicides in wounded and injured soldiers. When I first got to Walter Reed, there were two to three suicides a week, we kept hearing the ambulance in middle of night pulling up to the Molonge House where many of the outpatients were housed. It got better, but there are still a lot of suicides nationwide at Army hospitals. A member of my unit that got medevac'd out of Afghanistan, gunshot wounded to arm, was recovering well, committed suicide at Fort Bragg, while recovering. The Army needs to take a serious look at the Psychiatric Doctors & Practices, many of Army Psychiatrists are fresh out of school and inexperienced. Coupled with the Army thinking that most returning Veterans, are "faking it" especially National Guard and Reservists.

The Army Medical Evaluation Board(MEB)/Physical Examination Board(PEB), does everything possible to avoid documenting & compensation soldiers suffering from depression, PTSD & TBI, the evaluating psychiatrists will blame it on pre-existing conditions, like pi-polar disorder, anxiety & mood disorders, or just claim the soldier is just faking it or exagerating his or her condition. It is really a humiliating process for a combat veteran to go through. It is hard enough in the first place(with all the stigmatism attach to these conditions), to come forward and admit you have a problem, but to then go through this process and be treated like a dirtbag or someone who is faking it, is too hard for some soldiers to bear. This is part of the reason for so many suicides in returning combat veterans.

I feel that the entire Medical Evaluation Board (MEB)/ Physical Evaluation Board (PEB) system must be revamped, get rid of all the people currently on there, and get qualified, caring and profeessional people on the boards. The Army has to stop trying to save money by the blood of it's combat veterans, and take responsibility for doing the right thing. Fairly compensate these soldiers for there wounds, injuries and mental problems. Get them the proffessional help they need. And follow up on these soldiers, even when they are out of the system and make sure the Veterans Administration is taking proper care of them.

Notice to my readers!

Sorry I have not posted in a while, I am working on a post to do with Depression due to PTSD, still researching & working on it. I hope to have it done in a day or 2. Thank you all for reading my blog, and the great support I get from you.

Part 2 of 2 Part Blog PTSD & TBI, TBI Section

Traumatic Brain Injury(TBI), Like PTSD, is another unseen wound of this war. Because it is unseen, The Army has found many ways to discredit many returning OIF & OEF Veterans suffering from TBI. As I did with PTSD I will now give Wikipedia's definition of TBI.

Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI also called Intracranial Injury) occurs when an outside force traumatically injures the brain. TBI can be classified based on severity, mechanism (closed or penetrating head injury), or other features (e.g. occuring in a specific location or over a widespread area). Head injury usually refers to TBI, but is a broader category because it can involve damage to structures other than the brain, such as the scalp and skull.

TBI is a major cause of death & disability worldwide, especially in young people. Causes include falls, vehicle accidents, sports, & violence. Prevention measures include use of technology to protect those who are in accidents, such as seatbelts & sports or motorcycle helmets, as well as safety education programs & enforcement of traffic laws.

Brain trauma can be caused by a direct impact or by acceleration alone. In addition to the damage caused at the moment of injury, brain trauma causes secondary injury, a variety of events that take place in the minutes & days following the injury. These processes, which include alterations in cerebral blood flow & the pressure within the skull, contribute substantially to the damage from the initial injury.

TBI can cause a host of physical, cognitive, emotional, & behavioral effects, and outcome can range from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. The 20th century has seen critical developments in diagnosis & treatment which have decreased death rates and improved outcome. These include imaging techniques such as computed tomography & magnetic resonance imaging. Depending on the injury, treatment required may be minimal or may include interventions such as medications & emergency surgery. Physical therapy, speech therapy, & occupational therapy may be employed for rehabilitation.

That was the Wikipedia definition, I am not a doctor, so I thought it was important to put a correct definition, for those not familiar with TBI. Unfortunately TBI along with PTSD, is often a hidden war wound, so the Army, in it's infinate wisdom, feels that most soldiers, who claim to have PTSD & TBI are "faking it", so the Army can save it's money for more important needs, like "Beans & Bullets". It is criminal what returning Army OIF & OEF Veterans go through at Walter Reed Army Medical Center & other army hospitals, Fort Bragg, Brooke Army Medical Center, Fort Benning, Fort Lewis, the list goes on, it is Army wide, which means there must be an Army wide policy, denying soldiers, PTSD & TBI diagnoses and preventing compensation from corrupt and inept Army Medical Evaluation Board(MEB) & Physical Evaluation Board (PEB).

While at Walter Reed I was friends with an E-7 SFC w/ over 26 years service, along with his other injuries, he suffered from PTSD & TBI, being alot of symptoms are the same, The Army doctors & pshrinks determined that because he suffered from TBI & PTSD, that one cancelled out the other, so he was diagnosed with neither. Another doctored claimed that he was just faking to get compensation. The E-7 served 26 years, I think if he wanted to scam, he would have done it a long time ago, but because he is also a National Guard soldier, which we are still being looked down upon by active duty doctors & soldiers, even though we are doing the same job in Iraq & Afghanistan, & put our lives on the line, there is the stigmatism that we are inferior soldiers & must me faking when we get PTSD & TBI and other injuries.

I have testified at a Senate caucus on mental health led by Senator Edward Kennedy(D-MA) & Senator Pete Domenici (R-NM), I also broughts these facts up to both Senators before my testimony. I have brought it up to President George W. Bush, Former Senator Hillary Clinton(D-NY), Senator Snowe (R-ME), Senator Webb (D-VA), Tried to bring it up to Rep Steve Isreal (D-NY ) but his people blew me off, Numerous other Congressmen, Governors & Senators that visited during the Building 18 scandal at Walter Reed, but as typical politicians, they smile, shake your hand take a picture with you & you never hear from them again. We tried to bring it up to the Commanding General at Walter Reed during "townhall meetings", but we were forbidden to talk about it during townhall meetings, so much for hearing our problems & the truth of what was happening under his command.

These atrocities are still going on, I got a phone call from a friend of mine. a senior officer that was at Walter Reed with me. He told me about a soldier who had come back & tried to get help for PTSD at Fort Benning Ga, he was accused of "faking it". His condition became so bad when he left Fort Benning, that he had to commit himself to get the help he needed. There are thousands of returning war vets, who have been misdiagnosed, ignored, humiliated & treated like fakers and goldbrickers, because they have sought help from the Army. We need to stop this travesty and get these brave men & women the help, treatment & compensation, they have earned, by putting their lives on the line for this great nation. What will it take to get the changes made in the way the Army treats our Veterans. I urge everyone who reads this blog to start calling their Senators, Congressmen, Governors, & even the President & urge them to investigate the corrupt & inept Army Medical Evaluation Board(MEB) & Physical Evaluation Board(PEB) & to overhaul the Army Mental Health System.

Suffering from PTSD & TBI, makes it difficult for Veterans to reintergrate with society, Vets often have trouble with personal relations, work relations, dealing with rage, dealing with crowds or crowded places, loss of concentration & short term memory loss, depression, insomnia, having trouble getting to sleep & staying asleep, sexual problems, & easily frustrated. A lot of Veterans can not maintain a job, or relationship, which is why many are ending up on the street & homeless. I just read an article on NBC NEWS dated 4/13/2009, "Female Vets struggling to get treatment for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder", where they say that female Vets suffering from PTSD, are the largest growing homeless group. It is criminal in this day & age to allow our Veterans, who have put their lives on the line for this counry, to be living on the street. We spend billions & trillions on countries who bad mouth us and never support us, but when it comes to our Veterans, the checkbook is closed. We spend billions bailing out corporations who mismanaged their money, and who are still mismanaging the taxpayers money, yet again the checkbook is closed for our brave men and women Vets. We the people need to elect a new breed of Congressmen, Senators & President in 2010 & 2012, forget the politicians, get real people elected, people who kn ow what it is like to work for a living, who care about The Flag, our Nation & our Veterans, we need more Vets elected to office, they know what it means to fight for freedom and their beliefs. Ok, I will get off my soapbox now.

I will have more info on TBI to follow, I do not suffer from TBI, so alot of my info is second hand info, but I am still researching it. I will also ask some of my fellow Vets, to post their stories about TBI on this blog. I am also research, some potential traetments for PTSD posted on my Twitter account, as I get this info and if treatment helps me, I will post in the hope that it helps my fellow Vets. Has to do with adrenal glands, and an adrenal complex of herbs & vitamins. You can check it out on http://www.wholehealthmd.com go to reference library, & enter adrenal complex. Thank you all again for reading & feel free to comment here or u can reach me on my twitter account http://twitter.com/Wounded_Warrior Enjoy The Day!

The Real Battle - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury(TBI) Part 1 of 2 PTSD

This is part 1 of a 2 part blog dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD), and Traumatic Brain Injury(TBI). Two seperate medical issues, but are often dealt with the same by an uncaring & inept Army Medical Evaluation Board(MEB) and Physical Evaluation Board(PEB). First I will give a definition and symptons from Wikipedia.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to one or more traumatic events that threatened or caused grave physical harm. It is a severe and ongoing emotional reaction to an extreme psychological trauma. This stressor may involve someone's actual death, a threat to the patient's or someone else's life, serious physical injury, an unwanted sexual act, or a threat to physical or psychological integrity, overwhelming psychological defenses.

In some cases it can also be from profound psychological and emotional trauma, apart from any actual physical harm. Often, however, incidents involving both things are found to be the cause.

PTSD is a condition distinct from traumatic stress, which has less intensity and duration, and combat stress reaction, which is transitory. PTSD has also been recognized in the past as railway spine, stress syndrome, shell shock, battle fatigue, traumatic war neurosis, or post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS).

Diagnostic symptoms include reexperience such as flashbacks and nightmares, avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma, increased arousal such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger and hypervigilance. Per definition, the symptoms last more than 6 months and cause significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of fuctioning (e.g. problems with work and relationships.)

The above was taken from Wikipedia, for more info gp to wikipedia.com and type in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. I felt it was important, to put a description and symptoms for readers who do not know what PTSD or who have never suffered from PTSD. Now I will go into how the Army medical systems deal with PTSD(or avoids the issue), and I will describe how the MEB/PEB also avoids the issues of PTSD, and in second part on TBI, I wll show the similarities, in the handling of these to very real but unseen war wounds.

In the military, there is still a stigmatism associated with PTSD, soldiers are often looked upon as being weak, and are expected to "Suck it up & drive on", I know, I was an Infantry Fire Team Leader, and I at times feel ashamed of myself for not being able to overcome my PTSD issues. In previous wars, PTSD was known as Shell Shock, Battle Fatigue, Combat Fatigue & Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome(PTSS). Often, soldiers suffering from these disorders, were thought of as "Gold Brickers", weak, cowards, etc. When in fact, they were suffering from very real and very hard to deal with mental and physical issues. Because it is an unseen war wound, it has a potential to be exploited, so naturally the Army assumes everyone is faking it.

While I was at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, recovering, rehabilitating and fighting the corrupt & inept MEB/PEB process. I was witness to many soldiers being misdiagnosed and discredited, in order to save the Army money. It is hard enough for a soldier to come forward about PTSD or the symptoms. At Walter Reed, the psychiatrists there would often diagnose these brave men and women with Bi-polar disorder(a pre-existing condition so the Army does not have to rate or compensate the soldiers for), or my personal favorite other psychological disorders with PTSD like conditions, also not rated, anxiety disorders, depression, PMS(yes I am serious about this), genetic disorders, substance abuse, the list goes on. Because if the shrinks diagnose you with PTSD, then it has to be rated on your MEB/PEB boards.

The Wounded Warriors at Walter Reed and other Army medical centers across the nation, are often frustrated and disheartened by this corrupt process. Suicides are way up for these Vets, I am researching that now, when I have exact figues I will put in future blog. The Army does not deal with the severe guilt, that medevac'd soldiers feel for leaving their brothers and sisters in arms, back still in harm's way. It can lead to a deep depression or suicide, more should be done for these brave combat Vets who get medevac'd out early.

I myself went through this process, it was the most humiliating experience I have ever gone through. When I finally went for help at Walter Reed, I was diagnosed with anxiety and other psychological disorders with PTSD like conditions, I asked the doctor, isn't that PTSD and he said no. Strange, I never had these disorders or problems before I went to Iraq. I suffer daily with having trouble getting to sleep, and when I do I keep waking through night jumping out of my bed, I suffer from night sweats, nightmares, severe anxiety attacks, & chest pains. I avoid friends and family, at times I don't leave my apartment, I have trouble working and going to work, I am on verge of losing my job. i have to fight of a depression everyday, I have had flashbacks, I have to sleep with a light on in next room, so when I wake up I know where I am. My relationships with my fiancee and friends and family suffers, I avoid crowds and do my shopping at 2am to avoid dealing with strangers. I have severe road rage when I am stuck in traffic(In Iraq if u get boxed in u are dead). Once the Army puts u out, they want nothing to do with u, my old unit B Company 1/69 Infantry wants nothing to do with me, I call for help with my benefits, and can not even get the time of day. Ok, enough rambling about me, just wanted to give u an idea of want Vets go through, it is different from person to person.

While at Walter Reed, a group of us tried to get changes made to the Medical Evaluation Board(MEB)/ Physical Evaluation Board(PEB). Basically we were stone walled by the Commanding General, in fact we were ordered not to bring it up in the townhall meetings, that he would have, to talk about everything but the real issues and problems facing the Wounded Warriors at Walter Reed.

While doing research for this blog, I found an interesting paper, written by Kathy A. Debar at the University Of Illinois at Springfield, which u may find interesting. Titled "To Hell And Back: Wounded Warriors Return Home to Fight Yet Another Battle". http://www.csuchico.edu/cjhp/5/2/058-066-debarr.pdf It is a real good read. It was published in the California Journal of Health Promotion 2007, Vol 5, Issue 2, 58-66. Kathy A. DeBarr, M.S., Ph.D., Associate Professor, University of Illinois at Springfield.

I hope u found this blog interesting, please feel free to sign up as a follower and leave your comments. "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." John Wayne.

Sgt Patrick M. McNally, U.S. Army, Medically Retired.

Test Blog - This is only a test, if it had been an actual...

Hello and welcome again to the Wounded Warrior Blog, just getting my feet wet here, I have never done any actual writing before, outside of college english courses, many, many moons ago. I am attempting to bring attention to the problems and issues facing many Wounded Warriors, returning from war, and finding the real fight has just begun. This is not a fight they should be fighting, they should be welcomed back and treated with respect and fairly compensated for their wounds and injuries. Some of these wounds can not be seen, such as PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and TBI(Traumatic Brain Injury). Unfortunately, the U.S. Army is more concerned with saving money for "Beans & Bullets" and does everything possible to discredit these returning men & women, who have put their lives on the line to defend this great nation of ours. I will be telling many of these stories along with my own personal experiences, I will not be naming these brave men & women unless they ask me to include their names. I also want to say that this is not a bash of the medical professionals that daily strive to save lives and heal the returning Veterans, this is more on the administrative side, The MEB/PEB (Medical Evaluation Board/Physical Evaluation Board) of the US Army, a corrupt and inept system designed to frustrate, hamper and screw over the Wounded Warriors. This is just an intro blog, more to follow. "When you come up against trouble, it's never half as bad if you face up to it" John Wayne, A Great American